You Heard Russell Stover Syndrome.


Seriously, if I was given a centimeter of height for every time a person thought I said I have Russell Stover Syndrome instead of Russell Silver Syndrome, I would literally be able to look over bathroom stalls – not that I ever would, that’s creepy.   If you don’t know, Russell Stover is overpriced, mediocre chocolate sold in the United States – no offense, if you’re a fan.  Ironically though, Russell Stover teamed up with Graham Ice Cream Company to sell Eskimo Pies – thank you Wikipedia!  Eskimos are known for being diminutive.

I take this constant misunderstanding as people – most – just love sweets and I can’t speak for everyone, but I love food so much, that I myself tend to hear edible words – i.e. nacho instead of macho, steak instead of break.  So, I can’t really get too upset, but it can get incredibly annoying, because I have had this particular conversation way too often.  I get it, average height people are curious on why some people are too short or too tall.   More frustrating, I can’t even accuse the person I am speaking with are being inconsiderate and not listening.    THEY LITERALLY LOOK AT ME IN THE FACE AND ASK, “SO, WHY ARE YOU SO SHORT” AND CONTINUE TO KEEP EYE CONTACT AS I TELL THEM THE ANSWER.

Here is how is typically goes down and I see it coming right before I even utter the words:  Russell. Silver. Syndrome.   It starts with a perplexed look on their faces, then a few seconds of silence, then in a semi-high pitched voice, they inquisitively say , “Russell Stover Syndrome”?! It takes all my 4’6″ (1.3716 m) strength to not roll my eyes or reveal any annoyance with a friendly poker face.  I remain cordial and respond with a fake laugh and correct their moronic response.

It feels like I have dealt with this question and response conversation since I started constructing sentences.  I should start carrying around little boxes of Russell Stover candies and whoever asks me why I’m so short and actually responds with, “did you say Russell Silver”, I will present them with a sweet prize and a sincere smile.

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