When I was little, I thought we would all grow up to be giants.

I honestly don’t know why I thought such a thought. I was 4 or 4 years old kid, who would often go away in my own head – which I still do. I distinctively remember riding in the backseat of my mom’s car, she stopped at a red light or stop sign and there was this really tall man standing at the corner; that’s when I had my crazy prediction. Why, did I think such a thought? I have no idea, but I remember wondering after I saw this giant on the corner, when do we stop growing? I then proceeded to answer my own question and it was ridiculous; we would all grow up to be giants.

The funny part of all this was that I never thought about my preposterous conclusion until a few years later. It wasn’t until I starting going to the children’s hospital to start seeing a doctor about growth hormones when I was nine. When he was explaining to my mom and me in more detail about my growth lack of growth spurt and the process of taking growth hormones, I must have had a confused look, maybe it was the disappointed look instead. I don’t remember if he asked if I had any questions or thoughts, I just remember telling him, “I thought we all grow up to be giants”. I don’t remember his reaction, I just remember seeing the guilt on my mom’s face. That’s when I realized I was wrong.

Now, I know I’m a lucky one. I’m really short, but I’m physically able and I’m grateful for such a blessing, but it’s still a battle. I have had my share of disappointments, some trivial, some heartbreaking, but many don’t compare to when I realized that I was not going to grow up to be a giant. It was the moment that shaped the rest of my life and how I would grow not only physically but mentally. And the mind can be a cruel companion to the physical.

It is a battle of the mind that I will have to fight every day of my life and it can be quite exhausting; that is where the heart takes over.

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